Friday, February 24, 2006

Two weeks

I was visiting Jan this evening. It was 6:05PM. I was trying to make eye contact with Jan, when I realized that it was exactly 2 weeks ago when the aneurysm burst. In slow motion my mind played back again the scene two weeks ago that landed us where we are today:

5:15 We were getting ready to go to a Valentine's party in O-----.
5:50 A last minute touch up to the make up.
5:54 She collapses in pain. I call 911
6:01 The ambulance arives, Ask her a number so questions and convince her to walk down the stairs with them. Omar is arriving from work and meets her in the front lawn.
6:05 They put her on a strecher and she loses conciousness.
6:20 I meet her at the emergency entrace. She opens her eyes, I see fear or extreme pain. "Oh God..."
6:25 The ER staff run an ECG and find nothing.
6:45 Another doctor orders a CT scan
7:25 the CT Scan reveal the hemorrage and they start a frantic search for a neurologist and arrange her transfer to S--------. They give her some drugs. They put her in a respirator. I ask Omar to call Steve
9:25 She is prepared to be transferred with all the equipment
9:55 I go to the parking lot and find that I have no money or wallet to pay for parking! I call Dad and ask him to call everyone else.
10:30 I arrive at S-------.
11:05 The family starts to arrive.
11:30 One of the Neurosurgery residents comes to talk to us about what is happening and to ask for our consent.
1:00am Jan goes into the OR for a three-hour operation.
The rest is the history we have written here at S------- Hospital.

Sleepless nights, anger, frustration, tears, prayers, anguish, questions, impatience, tender love from friends and family, we have seen them all in these two weeks. We have felt hopeful and seen in a fraction of a second our hopes dashed by rational explanations of the risks and the seriousness of the situation.

We also have seen Jan in a deep sleep for days (in a coma) and then, we have witnessed how she opened her eyes, began moving parts of her body, began expressing feelings and questions with her eyes and hands. We have agonized for her lack of speech, we know this type of healing takes time, but we don't want to wait, we want to see her well now and listen to her voice again now! As time passes she is making progress, and in some way family and friends also are taking some steps towards patience and perspective.

All this in just two weeks!

To all of you who have been touched by Jan and have prayed for her recovery, I say: thank you. I hope you continue praying for Jan until she heals and returns home.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

There isn't an hour that goes by each day that I don't pray for Jan and talk to her in my mind. I believe we touch each other in many ways in this amazing web of life, and we can speak to each other using parts of ourselves other than our voices. I reach out for her and speak to her often, and somehow, I know she hears me. Perhaps this is what prayer is, in a way. If so, I pray for you daily, dear Jan, and something tells me that in time, you will recover yourself to a satisfactory degree.

I hope your family and husband understands that you may not be as capable in the months ahead as you once were, and some sacrifices have been made that may be permanent. Know that you are loved no matter what and do your best to have patience with your situation. I know of nobody who has more support than you do right now, Jan!

It is important to remember that the old Jan and the new Jan may be quite different in some ways, and we must all learn to accept that fact and embrace her for who she is now and for who she will become. She is no less the person we love, but she will be different in some ways. Prepare yourselves for changes that lay ahead. It is very important for Jan that her family and friends accept her as she will be and let go of expectations that she will be 100% the woman she was before the incident. That may or may not be. Hope and prayer can make great things happen, but there are limits to what hope can do, and at that point, acceptance must come into play. Be strong for Jan, please.

Paul

orestn said...

I've recorded a couple of prayers and songs from church in the last two weeks. As time permits, I will put them onto CD for Jan, in the hopes that they would bring comfort and connection to the church world. Think of it as a "prayercast".