Feelings

Dear Jan,

I often wonder what goes in the mind of those who visit or who have seen you after you came home from the hospital.

There are good times that are like a oasis for all if us. We almost feel that we are talking with the Jan before... Other times, the bad days, it is hard to understand what you want to communicate or what you are feeling. We get frustration clearly expressed through your voice -the uninitiated would think you are angry-, or in just giving up trying to tell your idea, or in crying -most people ask if there is something wrong-. On these occasions most people do not know what to do. Some look at you in silence, some others try to comfort you, or try to find whether you need something, painkillers, water. Your frustration or sadness stirr-up deep feeling in all of us. We feel feelings that we don't know how to name: compassion, sadness, concern, anxiety, ar all of them at once inside of us. But we all are quick to forget that this is just part of the healing.

This is the challenge for me. How to address the person I knew in a way that it is momentary, that approaches you just in that moment in time and leaves the encounter without making any judgements or taking with me any scars.

You are a work of art in progress. I must keep this in mind.

The good news is that we will be back in our community soon. Our loved friends will be close enough to see them more often. This is something to look forward to.

We ask all those who wish to help to subscribe to the Yahoo group. That is the best way to coordinate.

-Fede