Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Feb 11, a new beginning

A new beginning.

Jan's aneurysm was the end of a way of life and a way of expression of who she is; but is was also a new beginning, a start into a new life full of insight and access to those hidden parts of life that are more important than the parts we see, the ones we display every day of our lives.

This new life includes pain, in a greater measure than in the one before; the newness is that instead of running away from it, we have learned to embrace it. Embracing suffering is a step towards the light and true life. Far from becoming a masochistic choice, it is a way of chiseling down the overrated ego and allowing a greater space for our spirit to soar.

This new life includes a broken language, that piece of Jan of which she was so proud, where she was so strong. But limited vocabulary or broken semantics has only deepened our capacity to communicate at deeper levels. Those who know, say that words are a small portion of our communication. Aphasia, then, has been a precious gift to us, because we are learning to focus on the non-verbal to communicate.

This new life includes uncertainty, where the future is unknown, the options apparently more limited. Yet, we believe we have never been as free, as unencumbered as we are today. I understand for the first time what it is to really trust in God, to come to the place where I don't pay attention to my wants or needs, but rather to the gentle nudges of the Lord of life, as we are guided into open spaces with less of our self-sufficiency and a clearer understanding of how God works.

3 years ago, the old Jan died, a new Jan was born. We celebrate this milestone with all of our hearts. Come, celebrate with us!