Private pain, public praise

Dear Jan,

I was thinking this morning about how much of our lives are kept private, and how much lost potential this represents to grow as human beings for both the one keeping the pain secret and the ones who don’t get to hear about it. This thought came from the exposition of the concept that we all are part of one body, and that when one part hurts, all the parts hurt…even if the other parts are kept in the dark about the pain of this one.

Last night Monika and Wolf invited us to join them at the Sanctuary in Oakville. I’m sorry I didn’t have a camera. When we arrived you were greeted with an incredible joy and love. Moved deeply, you were sobbing and laughing at the same time as you hugged those dear friends. Somehow, they seemed to have a secret passage to your core. How tender the love extended to you also from the pastor himself. I have absolutely no doubt that you are loved beyond measure and that this love stimulates and heal something deep inside of you. Perhaps it is the demonstration of the corollary that the pastor was talking about: we are one because that is how God designed us. The skeptic only needs to see God’s fingerprints in you and those in the Sanctuary, [and in other similar groups] the many faces of the God within moving closer each one to embrace with this divine love the other. This is why it seemed paradoxical the fact that we still keep much of our pain private, when the greatly needed relief and healing can only come by sharing the pain or its causes with those who love us they way these friends love you.

And I am trying not to suffer or to rejoice in secret because of setbacks or triumphs in your healing. In fact, this is one of the side benefits of writing this blog, to share with everyone interested enough to read it not only a cold occasional report about you, but also a slice of our journey complete with the joy, the sadness and the paradoxical nature of real life. It is true that we forfeit our privacy in these matters, but the love we gain far outweighs the loss. How much private [individualistic] do we want to be when the preacher said it so clearly: we are one in Jesus. It seems that our unhealthy emphasis on privacy often can be a thin disguise of selfishness. Either we are one or we are not. In any case, I am glad that we share our private pain with those who care for you, these can only generate public praise for the Master who makes us one, and for your many faithful and generous friends.

You were so radiant after the meeting in that movie theater where this soul-and heart-family meets. You were so happy to go to Wolf and Monika’s place for brunch. The joy overflowing all over your face, the intense participation in the conversation after tea, the sheer freedom you felt basking in their love made my day. We even forgot you have Aphasia…

Fede