Sunday, August 20, 2006


Dear Jan:

Something the preacher said tonight rang a bell: "often those who appear to have the least to be thankful for are the ones with the most thankful hearts"

True, I am not thankful all the time for your circumstances, however, in a strange way these are the times when, if I consciously stop, and really listen to that quiet voice inside of me, I can hear the thanks to The Lord from the bottom of my heart. And I realize that I am experiencing the most profound peace in the most troubling circumstances. However, I can't take credit for this transformation. In the mornings, the first thing my head tells me everyday is to scream in protest, to refuse to accept the injustice, to fill in what sometimes feels like the silence from God, to protest for his absence. But soon thereafter, I calm down and remain still. The voice comes clear: "look, I make all things new"[...] "be still and know that I am God" It is then that I overflow with thankfulness for what we are experiencing and the way this is deepening our trust and friendship with the Lord.

That's it. I can't explain it anymore. It's just bubbling in here, like a river. This calm is beyond my understanding. and it is expressed in thankfulness for keeping us alive and close to his side.

Then, when I look at you, I feel you closer to my heart; a precious delicate lamp shining on my path. With your quiet voice and your slow movements you confirm that everything is as it should be.


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