Saturday, June 17, 2006


Dear Jan,

I often wonder what goes in the mind of those who visit or who have seen you after you came home from the hospital.

There are good times that are like a oasis for all if us. We almost feel that we are talking with the Jan before... Other times, the bad days, it is hard to understand what you want to communicate or what you are feeling. We get frustration clearly expressed through your voice -the uninitiated would think you are angry-, or in just giving up trying to tell your idea, or in crying -most people ask if there is something wrong-. On these occasions most people do not know what to do. Some look at you in silence, some others try to comfort you, or try to find whether you need something, painkillers, water. Your frustration or sadness stirr-up deep feeling in all of us. We feel feelings that we don't know how to name: compassion, sadness, concern, anxiety, ar all of them at once inside of us. But we all are quick to forget that this is just part of the healing.

This is the challenge for me. How to address the person I knew in a way that it is momentary, that approaches you just in that moment in time and leaves the encounter without making any judgements or taking with me any scars.

You are a work of art in progress. I must keep this in mind.

The good news is that we will be back in our community soon. Our loved friends will be close enough to see them more often. This is something to look forward to.

We ask all those who wish to help to subscribe to the Yahoo group. That is the best way to coordinate.



sharon said...

Dear Jan & Fede,

It was awesome to visit for a short while yesterday & help out a little. Sorry I wasn't feeling well to stay longer as I had a ear-ache. I went to the doctor after I left - he said it was some viral & was inflamed & gave me some ear drops.

Jan you are walking so freely and more balanced every time I see you. I love hearing you speak more clearly. Fede, thanks for clarifying the crying is part of the healing. I can appreciate how Jan feels. I was glad I can be there to see her through some challenging moments. It makes my visits real. I feel blessed to be in her presence as I am thankful for her friendship. I LOVE YOU JAN!

I was estastic to be able to pray with her & to listen to her talk and understand my feelings too. Jan you are a true friend.

I realized that love from God, family and FRIENDS are important to be too. It's part of my core.

I look forward to seeing you soon Jan.

LOve always

Ret said...

HI Jan! I'd like to come over and visit for awhile next week when I've finished school. Will you and Fede already be in your new place? I am having trouble with the Yahoo group so please feel free to email me with any info at

sharon said...

Hi Fede,

I am also having problems getting into the yahoo group for Jan. I tried subscribing and sending an email to this address but it came back. It said I am not a member of this group. Please have David N. add my name to the group &/or provide instructions to get into the group. I go to the link you put at the top of the page & set up my profile and it still did not work. Anyways I gave you my schedule for next week. See you on Friday.


Iconoclast said...


David the Geek here...

The process of emailing the yahoo group doesn't work. Try this instead:

1. browse to

2. highlight the "enter email address" text in the form at the top of the page

3. type in your email address and then click on the "Yahoo Groups! Join Now!" button

Once a moderator confirms your email then you'll receive instructions by email to gain access.

Hope that helps.

P.S. Oilers made us proud in spite of the loss!