Flying

Those who know Jan know well that the call in her life was to soar like an eagle. Last night Jan remembered something about soaring and climbed out of bed, after pulling the IV tube, the feeding tube and the bladder tube off her body. Fortunately she didn't go far. After some discussion, the staff decided to keep her off the IV and the bladder tube.

This morning, the family found Jan back in her bed, less several tubes. She has been sore from this all day. She was restless, and withdrawn. At times she cried of pain. She is beginning to make a wider variety of guttural noises. Her attention is stronger and her responses are clearer to questions about comfort.

The nurse gave her some painkillers and she fell asleep.

Looking at her sleep peacefully is priceless. I am deeply moved to see the Jan we all know trying to come back. She is referred to as a loyal sibling, a loving friend, a mighty warrior, a truth teller, a challenger of mediocrity, a wondeful singer, a leader, a unique teacher, a beloved being, a woman who somehow had the ability to reach into many hearts, a beautiful wife, a true friend. She is all that and much more.

Her vitals are normal. Oblivious to the concerns of the world her brain is working at its own pace to reconnect functions to limbs and organs, feelings and memories, to define the world again in her own terms. Piano, pianissimo. As Carol said: nature is in no rush.

I am writing this from Jan's bedside through a wireless network for guests. Somehow, Jan's friends visit to the Chapel last night rekindled hope. There have been many lessons so far. There will be more to come when Jan is again back among us.

-Fede