Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The ground rules

Jan is a person who is always asking what is the bottom line. She holds you to your own word like no one I ever met before. Relentless, she challenges any attempt at giving BS for an answer. Her honesty is such that you don't get a chance to duck before the truth hits you like a ton of bricks. This is Jan then...this is Jan today.

She may be challenged to express her challenges as quickly and clearly as she would like, but make no mistake, her essence hasn't changed one bit.

Today was a hectic day -full of urgent things that in the big scope of things are not that important. I stoped for a few minutes to see her before going to work. Sensing my rush, she asked: "is work more choice (important) than your wife?. No matter what my reply was, I really had trouble leaving. This was the perfect way to confront me with priorities before I had my first coffee of the day! But this is Jan and that was that familiar expression on her face expecting a truthful answer.

Then, I came back for a quick visit at the end of the day (around 9:30PM). I told her I was happy to see her, but got the cold shoulder treatment. When I asked her what was the problem she said: do you know that I was waiting many hours? where were you? how come you didn't call me? Am I on top of your day (important)? This is Jan, she didn't let me off the hook that easy. I explained to no avail that I had been tied up in work. Not interested. That I had to deliver a speech.. still not interested. Finally, I said: I'm so sorry that I didn't call you...tehn she just touched my hair and smiled.

She was clar in short intervals and then fade away, but some essential ground rules with Jan are
-don't promise what you cannot do
-don't try to cover your mistakes
-don't try to find excuses, just tell the truth
She remembered what we were talking about this morning.

This is Jan tonight, and I loved every fraction of it.


1 comment:

Jim_n_Bren said...


I'm always impressed with the honesty in your writing.


I'm glad you're doing your part to keep Fede 'honest'.

Our continuing prayers and positive 'vibes' to you both and those around you.

May your circle of support and care cradle you in comfort that is not often 'too much', but rather 'just right'.


Jim & Bren & the kids