Thursday, April 20, 2006

In the nest

Jan identifies her soul with an eagle. Eagles represent for her: courage, speed, power, great daring, dependability, strength, faithfulness majesty, tenderness, pride. Her favourite verse is Isaiah 40:30 "They will rise up like an eagle in the sky"

The Jan I saw today was tired, tearful, her speech was garbled and hard to understand. After a couple of sentences her head just hung between her shoulders. She had slept most of the day, and had been up most of the night. What a contrast with the Jan I had seen yesterday. Nevertheless, is the same Jan. Even eagles go to their nests and rest, I thought, and suspended my judgements.

We went to the park in front of the hospital. The sunshine had a positive effect on her. She became more alive. Later in the evening, a singer and her piano partner came to the auditorium to give a show to the patients. Jan loved the music and the singing, also the junk food the volunteers offered. She was in bed by 7:45PM and I was told that it was time to pick myself up and to go home.
"I don't have anything to talk about tonight".
She complained of pain in her right side of the body (the one with limited movement). I asked her if the pain was a good sign that it was awakening. She said,
"that's a nice idea. That''s how I feel"
I asked her if she thought it was unfair all this pain and limitations. It was not supposed to be this way. She replied:
"But, this is exactly the way it is supposed to be. There is a reason for this, I know it, but, I don't have the words to tell you now" (she pointed to her mounth and then to the left side of her head)
She opened a card that a dear friend mailed to her: a man sitting under a tree at sunset, a legend at the bottom read: waiting for a miracle. When she read the text inside, asking now and then what some words meant, she said full with laughter:
That is what I believe!" (the unseen power of God working in her cells, re-connecting nerves...)
Today Jan was tired, tearful, in pain, but her determination and faith were the same.


1 comment:

Ret said...

Hi Jan! I believe I have a day off between the end of this term's computer class and my upcoming desktop publishing class so I've been thinking of coming to see you on May 3rd.