Part of the process

QUARTERLY

On May 10 Jan will have been away from home a full quarter. But does it really make a difference whether it is one day, or one week or one quarter? Separation under any circumstances is always painful, it is a loss, even if it is temporary. Nevertheless, I am beginning to see absence from Jan's perspective. She asked me:
What is the purpose of pain?
Then, before I could reply anything, she said:
Pain is to show you the money (how much it costs) to live or to love.
During the weekend she had been talking about the same theme: without any opposition, any gravity or any weight our muscles would atrophy; without pain, we could not understand love, peace, growth, happiness. It is not an end in itself, it is not a deviation from the path, it is just part of the process. It does not have anything to do with fairness. It just is.
Her shoulder and right arm are in pain constantly. A low intensity pain that can be put in the background for a while, but once in a while bites as a reminder of its existence. The healing in the brain brings headaches. The absence from home that is making her heart grow fonder...
We were playing cards tonight; Jan was laughing and grimacing at the same time -the frozen shoulder was a hindrance but not a total barrier for her to enjoy the evening. For one second, life seemed normal. When the nurse came to check her vitals I realized we were in a hospital room and Jan was in a process of rehabilitation.
Jan told me she would be ready on time and I have no reason to disbelieve her.

-Fede