Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Tuesday on the road

I couldn't come to see you yesterday; I was out of town. Nonetheless I kept thinking about you all day and wondering about the lessons we are learning in this process. Yes, the first could be that absence makes love grow fonder. Our lives have changed so much since February 11, yet our bond only grows stronger.

I believe with you that this is part of the plan, and that, although, I don't know the concrete destinations where this plan is taking us, I am certain of the Lord's companionship in the process. The second lesson could be something I see often in you: a certainty of the things you don't see, a trust in what you hope for. You are a true water-walker; one that is not bound by fear to stay on the boat when the invitation is to join the Lord on the rough waters. As a matter of fact, where you have been in the past three months is the equivalent to rough waters, and what I see, is Jan walking on water in defiance of all prognosis, statistics and normal expectations. I have learned so much from your daily walks, and I hope to keep away my fears to join you in this wonderful exercise of faith.

If I had to identify one aspect of your core, I would say it is language. You love words, thoughts, discussions, music, and any other form of expression of your mind and soul. The SAH-L, like the tip of a magician’s wand, touched the centre of language in your brain, and in a few seconds your language skills were gone. No words, no expression of ideas, no music, no foreign languages; just silence, many hours of silence, days of confinement in your mind when you were unconscious. Then, over the past 10 weeks, I see how you are pulling together the pieces of language: broken speech conveying meaning with the assistance of your left hand and your facial expressions; humming to follow songs and occasionally inventing words to match the music; using that left to write and sometimes draw. The third lesson could be something related to the tremendous power of the will. You have a strong will. You choose life over oblivion or death everyday. You choose communication over silence, you find many words, every time more and more to express your ideas, you love singing and music. Your determination to believe that this was meant to happen and that everything is under His control is the single most important bridge to bring you back to us. You just don’t give up. Maybe that concept is not even in your dictionary. I must learn this for myself: how to take this process one step at a time trusting as well that He is in control in the middle of the storm.


1 comment:

sharon said...

Dearest Jan and Fede,

Fede, thank you for sharing all the incredible lessons learnt from jan's experience. Fede, I get peace reading your daily blogs everyday before my day begins - it brings hope to my personal crisis which I am dealing with. THANK YOU!!! It deeply touched my heart. I continue to be amazed at Jan's progress & how given everything that has happened how gracefully she is living it to the fullest everyday. I like your expression that she is walking on water through the storm with the belief that God is in charge.

Jan I love you so much. sorry I am not been am to see in the past few weeks. I am dealing with a major crisis in my life. I have learnt from you that I too need to trust God is in charge & not be afraid of the my own personal situation - that God is in charge & will help me get through this crisis with the courage & strength like he has instilled in you. I have learned that my bond with others will only get stronger if I can deal with my situation constructively & have faith.

Jan I love you so much, thank you for your friendship. Although I have not seen you lately, please know that you are in my heart & I constantly pray for you daily.

I look forward to seeing you soon!
Love always